I totally agree. A couple of weeks ago in my store I heard a father yelling at his 2 year old boy for wanting to play with a Barbie. It really bothered me I mean who does it hurt if he plays with a doll? It’s all so silly!

I’m sorry that my comment here is not related to your post, but I’m not quite sure how else to contact you. I’ve looked around your site for contact details, and I’ve also looked for you on myspace but I couldn’t find you. I am the co-owner of a YA Lit Review blog/online community and we’ve just recently reviewed Cycler (loved it, by the way). I was hoping to have a quick chat with you about this and discuss the possibility of doing an interview with you for our site?

please contact me at yareaders@gmail.com if you’re interested.

Kind regards,
Nikki Blunt

As for why society is more tolerant of females stretching the boundaries of gender, and less tolerant of males doing so, it all comes down to the value that society places on masculinity and femininity. In virtually all ways, masculinity is held up as superior to femininity. Male traits are often viewed as strengths and female traits as weaknesses when applied to males and females. That’s why a tomboy is tolerated (and sometimes encouraged), while a sissy-boy is reviled. I highly recommend Julia Serano’s “Whipping Girl”, which explores the concept of feminism from the perspective of someone who’s lived as both male and female.

I agree that gender and gender identity are complex and likely the result of numerous internal and external factors. Trying to find the one factor that informs it all is insane.

Labelling a child as transgender pre-puberty is a tricky thing and I agree could be a misdiagnosis. A loosening of gender roles in society would create the freedom for children to express themselves in the ways they feel most naturally. But the onset of puberty makes things complicated. For those of us who are truly transgendered (versus those who enjoy playing with gender roles) puberty can be a painful event, our bodies betraying the way we feel inside. I recently transitioned from male to female successfully at age 33, but if I had had the chance to slow or halt my first puberty, my second, transition-related one, would have been much easier.

By the way, “Cycler” is a great exploration of gender roles and an overall fun read. I loved it!

Because gender falls into both the natural and the social sciences, I think much of the debate has less to do with actual ideas than with academic territorialism. I’ll check out Purity and Danger. Sounds interesting.