Grand Unifying Theory of Baby
There are dozens of books about how to raise your baby and the only thing they have in common is the author’s absolute confidence that his or her way is the right way. Sadly, they disagree on nearly everything else.
There’s Caring For Your Baby and Young Child by the American Academy Of Pediatrics. Encyclopedic in both scope and dullness, it’s a useful resource but dreadful reading.
Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and Melinda Blau is a snappier read, but the tortured use of anagrams. (E.A.S.Y. stands for Eat Activity Sleep You.) is just confusing. Not to mention, the authors’ faith in their methods seems optimistic to the point of delusional to me.
The Contented Little Baby Book by Gina Ford is popular in England for getting babies to sleep but so specific in its demands (you must have wall-to-wall carpeting lest you trip over a rug edge while holding baby) that it makes parenting seem like an extreme sport.
Then there’s The Baby Book by the Sears clan. This is where “attachment parenting” is taught. Beloved by its practitioners, ridiculed by its detractors, it seems a bit like parental masochism to me. But I know a few kids who’ve been raised under this regime and they’re lovely and wonderful.
For our part, we’re sort of reading everything, taking bits and bobs from each and relying heavily on Google and our own quasi-scientific approach. Andrew has already brought his engineering background to bear on improving bottle positioning technique.
We’re also relying on a lesser known book The New Basics, which is written by our pediatrician, Michel Cohen. Dr. Cohen is just as bullish on his theories as the others are on their own, but we figure in the case of a tie we’ll defer to him. That way, if he turns out to be wrong, we’ll know we have to switch pediatricians too.
It’s kind of amazing to me that nobody has truly broken the baby code, given how many people have tried. Sadly, for all of our Googling, reading, and quasi-scientific noodling, I don’t think we’ll break this code either. But we’ll have some fun trying.
Well, no one’s broken the people code either. You know, on account of all peoples are different. I always figured babies were the same.
I cannot WAIT to meet, Addie!
Raising a baby is like any other relationship: there’s practical stuff you need to know going in, but a lot of it is just learning and negotiating what works best between you all as individuals. Also remember people have been bring up kids in every possible method (or lack-of-method) for millenia, and the human race has thrived; what’s trendy this year isn’t necessarily better than any other way of doing things, so you’ve got to go with what feels good to you and your kid. As long as you give your child love and attention and stay honest with yourselves, you guys are going to do great!
Remember you dont need to break the code for all babies. Just your own…
Thanks, guys. Damo and Karen, I’ve added you to my council of wise parents. Be warned, I ask lots of questions.
And you’re right, Justine. Addie is a totally unique baby. She’s a natural performer too. Loves to strike poses.
I had an armful of books too, but the one I used most was “What to expect the first year,” which is fairly readable and useful for the medical stuff, at 3am when you’re not sure if you need to go to the ER or if everything’s actually OK.
Where actual raising the kids is concerned, I find it all ends up being instinct anyway, no matter what your intentions.
oh you don’t need books to raise baby (heck, they don’t have the interweb years back). don’t think my parents use any books and look how i turn out..a-duhhhh…
….
oh crap!
you’ll be fine