Did I Just Say That?
Since the little one came along, I have found myself doing and saying things I never would have dreamed possible. I have engaged in lengthy discussions on the nature and categorization of spit up. I have blogged about intransigent diapers.
Parenthood knows no shame.
But, of late, I’ve found the most bizarre sentences slipping effortlessly from my (and Woofy’s) lips, and I thought, in the interests of furthering my shame, I’d share them.
Also, I’m totes jet-lagged and unable to blog about anything else right now.
So here they are for your amusement:
“Addie, it’s not thumb time. It’s yum time.”
(in response to her propensity for copping a thumb suck between bites of food)“Her name is Addie and she eats up all her peas” (sung to the tune of “Rio” by Duran Duran)
“You can fight me, Addie, but I will win. I will always win.” (my battle cry when attempting to change a diaper during “frisky time”)
Actually, “frisky time”
And, my personal favorite:
“Andrew, I am not getting on that plane with two nipples.”
My dignity is hanging by a thread and I can see baby-sized clippers in the little one’s hands.
at least you haven’t abandoned all your professional standards. i saw a facebook tweet from a friend who is a curator and former gallerist, who was making what I thought was a perfectly reasonable tweet about how having a child now makes her see her childless friends as uptight. I was with her until she gave the example of people being upset when someone’s toddler runs around and touches the artwork. wait, what? Suddenly now she’s okay with people bringing toddlers to exhibition openings and letting them run around and TOUCH THE ARTWORK?
Yeah, parents can be completely insane. I can say that now because I’m a parent. Woofy and I are pretty old-fashioned in that we think kids should behave themselves in public. I truly do not understand this new trend of letting kids run rampant everywhere. Luckily, Addie will be growing up in a home full of her Dad’s art work so she’ll know what she can and can’t touch.