Lauren McLaughlin

Is it possible that Stephanie Meyer actually named the heroine of Twilight after a minor one-episode character from the Mary Tyler Moore Show?

There I was watching “The Farmer Ted” episode with Woofy last night on iTunes and in walks Ted’s elderly agent named Bella Swan.

Thinks I: Man, that Stephanie Meyer is way cooler than I thought.

Haven’t heard that wonderful theme song in a while? Well, here’s a treat for you then.

Enjoy. And remember love is all around, no need to waste it.

71,000 words and I’m spent. Oh, but it’s a peach, I tell you. No title as of yet. But here’s an excerpt:

Once you’ve decided to destroy your life, the waiting period is torture.

I know it’s short, but if I give you any more it’ll spoil the whole story. I can tell you that it’s about teens and surveillance. The rest you’ll have to wait for, I’m afraid.

Or Five Days a Month in the Body of a Boy.

That’s the French title for Cycler dreamed up by my wonderful French publisher, Pocket Jeunesse. And here is their utterly inspired cover:

As Woofy said, there is only one word to describe this cover and that is “very chic.”

D’accord.

Here’s a neat trick I did in college.

I was sitting in someone’s dorm room with a whole bunch of freshman girls and we were having one of those painfully common conversations about how much we hate our bodies. My boobs are too small. My hips are too big. My legs are short. That sort of thing. For some reason, I floated right up outside of the conversation and looked down on it (I do this a lot. Yeah, it’s weird. Just go with it). What I saw annoyed the heck out of me. It seemed so pathetic and pointless. I thought to myself, if you don’t like something about yourself (and by yourself, I meant myself too) either do something about it or shut up already. Then I swore from that moment on never again to say another self-critical thing about my body. Not for any lofty self-esteem reasons, but rather to avoid being tedious.

A strange thing happened.

After awhile, I noticed that I no longer had negative thoughts about my own body. By refraining from negative chatter, I had deprived my brain of the fuel it needed to keep the negativity alive. Once that happened, I realized I had very little to complain about in the first place. I had, like so many adolescent girls, massively exaggerated my own imperfection. Not only did I feel better about the way I looked, I also cared a whole lot less about it. It’s not like I stopped bathing or anything. I actually looked exactly the same. It’s just that my appearance became a minor topic in my mind whereas previously it had been a major one.

As women, we spend a huge amount of time hating the way we look. And businesses have learned how to exploit this brilliantly. We get nothing out of it. And we lose a lot. So here’s my advice–as a woman who genuinely doesn’t care–stop the chatter.

Without the words, the thoughts will disappear.

Florida’s in the midst of a heat wave. Brain fried. Nothing to say. Here’s some cuteness to tide you over until words return to me:

You’re welcome.

Maureen Johnson tells all about the two women trying to restrict access to her novel, The Bermudez Triangle, along with many other YA books they consider offensive.

The two women insist they are not “censors.” They merely want these books moved away from the young adult section and into the adult section where, apparently, teens won’t ever be able to find them. The women appeared recently on Fox News with their tale of woe and won the outraged hearts of the Fox Newscasters who could not believe that such things as sex were being written about in books for teenagers. Apparently, teenagers will only think about sex if a novelist instruct them to. Absent that influence, they only think of algebra and Christ, I guess.

Here’s my question to these two women and to all those seeking to restrict access to young adult novels:

Why is your opinion on what’s appropriate for teens more important than mine?

If you don’t want your children reading certain books, pay attention to what they take home from the library. But don’t make the library a substitute for parental guidance. Step up and do your job. Just, you know, do it for your child. Leave mine out of it.

Personally, I’ll be thrilled on the day my daughter reads The Bermudez Triangle. I will not, however, seek to enforce the reading of The Bermudez Triangle on anyone else’s child. It’s a choice. Books with teenage characters written for teens are shelved in the teen section because that’s where teens look for books for teens. It’s not a conspiracy. It’s just common sense.

From Kirkus:

“…Jack and Jill, freed from the constraints of a whitewashed Massachusetts suburb, are ready to take on each other, Brooklyn and the world… Packed with realistically emo adolescent pain, Jack and Jill’s journey of self-discovery is funny, heartwarming and just a little bit smutty.”

(Re)Cycler is available on August 25th but you can pre-order it at Amazon if you want to be sure to reserve your little bit of smutty, heartwarming fun.

Last night, Addie elected to express herself for approx 3 hours. She mostly reiterated the same point, albeit at slightly different pitches. This left me feeling like this in the morning:

And because I was too wrecked to write, I went here instead:

It’s the Thomas Edison Museum in Fort Myers Florida and that is his model T given to him by his pal and frequent house guest, Henry Ford.

Addie was less impressed by all of this than I was, but I think it sunk in. Right Addie?

She says: “Yeah, whatever. When’s dinner?”